Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
