how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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