I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Randomize
