I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
