Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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