Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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