He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize