Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
