dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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