whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
