how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
