Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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