ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
