How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
