Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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