He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
