piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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