White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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