It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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