Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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