I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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