For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
