So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
