sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
its not stalking. its research.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
