i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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