I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
