I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
false alarm, still single
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
