I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
