i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize