Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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