That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
