it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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