glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
