I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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