was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My vagina is very pro this idea
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