i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
