You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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