Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize