The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My Sexting was not on an AP level
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
