why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
