Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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