I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm having to shit out rocks
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