I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is my gift to your gina
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
