i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
