if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
