Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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