I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
