You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
