Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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