i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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