Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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