How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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