i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
