We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
