omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
