Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
