I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
