There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
