He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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