oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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