Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
