you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
